Meaningful days?

Well, recently i considered myself as passing time "meaningfully" as my whole day is occupied, from morning till night.

During day time, i will go to the University Workshop and built my "machine" which is part of our final year project, although i still considered my design is stupid, but we still able to make it into reality, which is great! but for sure original design and product defers a lot. Instead of following the design blindly, we somehow "rebuild" it based on standard parts. Although we are behind schedule a few weeks, the result and progress is satisfactory so far, all the ups and down we faced are priceless.

(left is design and modeled, right is reality)

So that's for the day time... as the clock turns to 5, i will appear on a different location, Brussel's Beer Cafe at Menara Hup Seng. Thanks to Jackie who introduced and recommended me to work here. Its a drink-n-dine cafe which we focus mainly on serving beers. As what my parents and friends concern, that i should learn to drink or at least know about drinking someday. This seems like a good place to start.

Outside view of the cafe (illustration picture from site)

The 'pads' which is called coasters are dried up

Interior view.. no more customer since we've closed. Seated is my supervisor.

I've been curious and interested on the FnB line all the while as most of my friends did try this kinda job. And now i know how it feels like. My job is to become waiter, where i serve and take orders, maybe pouring beers. i dont really make drinks or cocktail yet as i am just a part timer and new, which i don really need to know how to mix up drinks.

Its very informative working here as it was my first job also -.- Its like every info or knowledge is new to me. From liquor names to how to serve, everything is so new which make me quite blur for the first few weeks, and get a lesson from a customer as i passed the credit card bill to the wrong person. Still a lot more to learn!

Final day as Brussel's Part timer

Band with no name ??

Oh yeah! This will totally mark an achievement in my life, i've been waiting for this moment so long since the first time i discovered the awesomeness of guitar! Hopefully its a good kick start!

Moments of life

Well, moments. How do you define that? The actual definition is refering to a short moment of time, but it never truly states how short the time is, whether its in several seconds, minutes or up to hours. Its also defined as a particular period of time with importance, something worth the time I guess. Lets put in a easier way, moment of happiness. So whats that? It can be stated as the time, when youre happy, easy enough. It doesn’t care how long is it, few days or so, but just at that moment, you know youre happy.

Those random question will sounds like, whats your happiest moment in life? That’s a million dollar question.

Going out with friends, having fun, achieved something during this period of living, all those events , yeap, its fun enough to considered happy alright, but still, happiest? Nah, nothing so far I can categorized for that, even happy moments, I can hardly list it out. For me, those moments are worth to remember, that’s all . And remembering those moment doesn’t actually help anything. Just that youre physchologically exicted at that brief moment, that’s all. Take eg, when you go for a roller coaster ride, wohoo! Spining here and there, thrilling, fun. But wats more after that? It doesn’t mean anything to someone, if they say, “experience”.. whats the use of having such experience? == The other way looking at it positively is spending quality time with friends, going through the hardest and fun moments together.
Still the sad and worst moments is the moments that most people had their strong memory for it. For me, these are the moments worth to recall, but always reminds self not to stuck in it. For these…I remembered most, but I personally haven’t experience and worst scenario which I could call it worst moment, but I know, what it will be. Just that it ain’t happen yet. – The moment when you died.

At least these are the moments worth bringing self back there, and thinking what should be done, analyzing every detail and imagined what can be done so that such moment doesn’t exist. The moment you fell down from a bike in a crowded traffic, quarrel with friends, being rejected, ouch, and so forth. There’s always a cause for an effect, there’s nothing like magically happen or “its your destiny” in science term ( since I am pursuing engineering, that’s how we are taught to think ==)
So eventually,learned something from those moments, and they do caught in your mind more than anything else, which could evolve into trauma or such.

In the end, moments of good or bad are precious, gotta enjoy every moment in life.

Thoughts

Hello me,

Why have you been thinking too much recently? Its not only about the video editing right? Yes ,i knew that for sure.

Although u've just been through one of the weekend u anitcipated on, but you don't really have to think about in detail what you have missed, what you have done.. But its alright to analyze a bit of this and that for the future, don't let your thoughts affect your life kay?

You think youre so good at understanding ppl's thought? You thought that thinking in ppl's prespective will let u understand what are they thinking? Lemme tell u something, You gotta know that what's in your mind might not be actually what's in people mind, and most of time, you're wrong. Sometimes you just over exagerated a bit, you take that as conclusion, and that's not right man. Especially in conversation, try not to analyze too much, which always ends in the negative side anyways, since you always thought of the worst case scenario. Its better to prepare for the worst and only suprised for the best? You're scared of rejected and failing man.

Why let your thoughts ruin your day? ruin you life? Its just your thoughts, you gotta have better EQ, don't let your thoughts affect ur emotion and thats pretty bad i can say. Once this happens, chain reaction gotta occur, you might affect someone else with the problem of yourself, please don't do that.

When you're not sure what to do, be yourself, do something u like which relaxes ur self. Don't let the thoughts conquer ur brain, just let it go part by part, and you'll realize, its actually not a big deal. That's the journey of life man.

Good luck bro.

Regards,
Yourself

21

21?

Yeah, i am 21 this year alrite, 21 year had passed since the born of this lil guy who was no one like nobody out there... with nothing better in mind, its best to ignore this guy.

But this 21 figure is not dedicated to my current age, its been few months since my existance anniversary.. its a figure dedicated to distance in relative to the earth positon when not rotating.. 21km!

For 21 years of my existance, i never run more than 8 km in a go, even my school annual run (distance is approx 7km) i never managed to finish in time. And now, 3x more than the annual run, which is 21km! I must be nuts or outta my mind particpating in these kinda event.

I was being helped and forced to register for the 21km run, special thanks to my gang of friends who always willing to engage in new sports, which so called the PBIM (Penang Bridge International Maraton). 21km is just half, the full will be 42km, which i must be somewhere highup in the heavens if i entered that.

The time limit for qualifying is 3hours and 30 mintues, which means for 21km, you have to travel at least 6km/h to be able to complete within time. Means u can never stay below 6km/h or else youre not gonna make it. 6km/h walking speed is quite fast, its okay if you do that for like 10-15mins, if for 3hours ... i might lost my leg ><

They say it will be fun! Everyone running together...Even when i go jog with my buddies, i was always left behind.. coz i m not those endurance runner type. So yeah, i can imagine whats gonna happen that day. Swallowed by the darkness, surrounded by thoughts and observable stuffs.

I can never deny one of the activity i hate most will be jogging and running. Its the same thing u have to do and repetitive action.. sienz.

Forcing myself to do the things i hate, and not sure what the outcome will be, let this run be the punishment for me to realize wat i had done badly for the past 21 year of livin... but the torcher moments of this run will never cover all the bad things i had done, thats for sure.

35 days left to hell

Power of words

Just recently, i read on someone's blog which is full of lively expressions, and the words.. are as lively as the person sounds. She described her wonders of life, thoughts of life, and experiences of life...

Makes me wonder.. where goes my childhood??

I started to note down events during my.. i guess 8th birthday, which i got a notebook as a present ( yeah, its a made by paper notebook) And titled the book things i never forget.
I soon realized how memories can be captured by just simply noting down some few moments, and put it down like a story. It lasted till today, which i like to look at it time to time, imagining the actual moment that happened.

But well, surely wise people will comment , it's not worth looking at past since it will make ya only stuck in time -.-

Its true somehow, but its not by just looking back, its more on anlayzing what's happening back then, in engineering term. Why did it occur, and what went on after that. For me, the past is important to create the future. Like what's quoted

"the past is a gapin hole, no matter how you tried to run from it, it gets bigger, its edges yawn heels" - Max Payne

So yeah, i can say that i keep an "offline blog" in notebooks for the past years (its kinda a diary but not daily basis)

Back to the whole thing, the lively and using strong expression of words towards their emotions, speaking watever its on their mind and head, does create a masterpiece.. ( too bad i dono how to appreciate poems and classical stuff><)

I never thought of doin bloggin coz i thought of its not gud to let ppl know about someone's life, but thinkin about it, its not like there is ppl somewhere out there will read lar.. haha. So, i agree with the persona, which define blog as to write what out what she thought and feels, and its not meant for people to feel whether its right or not. Its all written for herself to see.

I got motivated, and seems like i know what to do now XD

I never thought I’ll ever say this....

once I enter the 下乡团 which was now knowns as 社区服务计划.

I do not regret after joining this activity.

Well, I m saying it this way coz I ever regret bout it and keep telling myself. Let me blog about what actually all this is about.

This event is all about organizing a camp for children in rural areas hoping that they wont abandon their studies, and I was in, because someone said it was good. The first interview was fine, asking questions and supposedly asking me to do some silly stuff, but I am lucky din get one of those. Followed by 2nd interview by MCA people, still very lucky, weren’t being interview by another interviewer who is much more sinister. So, after 2 interviews, I am in. And I did not realized what I am gonna face in the future.

The first day of mass call start with gathering all the participants , which was 33 ppl from both PJ campus and Setapak campus. The person above us, known as 协调员 give us play some games, and sometimes strict discipline times, to ensure we can react two things in the same time. The objectives of the ice breaking games are letting us knowin who’s capable in being leader and the other position which is assistant leader, secretary, ass. Secretary and treasurer. The rest is “department” leaders, which is 联谊(dancing and hand claps , for bringing up the atmosphere) 宣传(advertising)美术(so far I knew they do the games )教育(anything concerning of education to all)美化(beautify, anything related to arts and changing the appearance of sch)辅导(this one should be assistance and guidance)I am in for 美化,since I draw a lot. But the trouble comes when asked for a mural. None of us was experienced

the 2nd and 3rd mass call had 1-2 weeks gap between them, we learned hand claps, dances, discipline stuff, and for me it’s a torcher most of the time coz giving punishment all the time. Its like I m not discipline enuf. Come on, I’ve been on this since primary sch, you don need to gimmie that！so.. the what happened in mass call is just like this. In between, we have our own department stuff to do and discuss, like creating logo, t-shirt design, theme, name, backdrop design, souvenir and stuff. Basically, everything was held on when comes to exam week. During this period, 2 ppl exited the team.

Then after exam, we attended a talk from MCA on the 30th September, i left to PJ on the 29th just after a disappointing exam and stay overnight for the talk, and head back to Setapak early at noon for the Traveler’s Den Sg. Lembing trip, I was the organizing treasurer. If I knew it was a talk, I wont attend it. The sungai Lembing trip is full of suprises and somewhat fun. Then it was time for the 下乡again. We had something called 筹备营something like that , which last for ten days. From early 8am till night around 8-9pm. I travel almost everyday from PJ to setapak, coz got my fren who can drive everyday. Things that were done in the 10 days,
Wake up very early in the morning. Being punished everyday. Reasons varies, late-punish. Uniform problems-punish. Everything seems to be in order? Sing- not loud enuf, punish. I get sick of this and felt regret and hatred the first few days. Guess what, coz we are team, so, one did wrong, everyone being punished.
Then we’ll start of telling everyone what we’ll accomplish today. Like mine is setting up the backdrop, dealing with mural and etc. Then followed by morning exercise known as 联谊 (based on music) then do stuff, then lunch, then do stuff, then 联谊 again. Finally, we’ll report what had being achieved that day, being scolded a while, then end. These were roughly what happened in the ten days .

But everything changed in the 7th day. That day was at Setapak (normally at PJ) , our协调员came early and sit there and talk to our leader after the punishment, dono what they told him, we can see leader start to cry. He was speechless for some moment. Then our协调员 talks. Coz based on the rules, ppl who din attend for more than 3 times have to forfeit the team. And since our team left 31 ppl, forfeit somemore means bubarkan the team. Every member is shocked. The协调员 told us to pack our things and go home. (the truth is that our team never fully present even a day) I was happy for a moment there, thinking wow! Finally I can go home and rest. What should I start off. Then I thought of the castle I did, the things I draw, what a waste just end like that. While we were being told to go away, our leader alone gets all the scold, one of our teammate call us to continue our job, we aren’t gonna forfeit. Then when we almost start work, comes the协调员. They start off with telling that how dare we ignore their instructions. Then we gather around (with formation) and everything starts there. Tight situation. Some members start to cry and even scold loudly against each other due to there is one member who never attend it for 5 days streak , and they thought he was the cause for all of it. The guy din attend and never tell anyone coz his heart problem he wanted to kept secret. But there was a guy who don like it and kept freaking out why the guy never showed up, then come someone who said like “the truth is he don want us to know bout his illness” something like drama, then the other guy wants proof and goes on and on. I was just observing the situation. Clearly this was a set up, and a lot of ppl cried. Even 协调员they also scold till they cant hold their cries. They even said something funny like “thank you all for giving us back the feeling of 下乡 again” –in tears, Then they said they leave since we are not leaving. Our member told us to hold them off, ask them not to leave. While we are chasing the 协调员, our leader cannot hold on anymore he cried until shortness of breath can be observed, in his tears, we heard him sayin that his hands cannot move. Must be cramp. Then the协调员 rush back, and told us to leave the place. Then we continue on.. everything was back normal. It was a test of how determined we are and shows us actually what happened in our team .We do not support our leader when he was being scolded, and some internal problems..

The next day, we were released early coz next day will be on PJ again. So they all wanna have dinner at the cola club while I hope I can go home rest. No choice. Followed them. They were so excited until bringing all loudness in the café, taking it like their own home. Happy.. happy… celebrate someone birthday… they started to love setapak coz the accomdation is nice. go home, go car.. then I heard a scream. My fren’s car which I hitch his ride everyday had glass shard in the seat. The rear left mirror was smashed. One laptop bag and another bag was MIA. The laptop belongs to our secretary, which she cant control her sadness that moment and almost collapsed. My other fren lost her wallet, fill with ID, access card and stuff. Our member start to calm down the victims, telling the secretary that whatever she had gone, we can all help to make it back. And the car owner, a member keep telling him its not his fault, its an accident. Coz the driver think he’s responsible for the snatch, since its his car, and the secretary think she’s responsible for putting her bag on the seat of the car. We called the police, and quickly arranged those who live in PJ to go back first. Case filed, and that’s it. Nothing more we can do.

Two days later, a final talk from MCA. This time we did badly, some almost asleep, and our 协调员 very disappointed about it. Our 协调员’s 协调员 also appeared that day. He start off with a friendly tone of asking how’s our 协调员, everyone said they are good, kind, too loose.. which was a trap. He then started to show his tail. He said becoz our 协调员too loose, See what happened to us? Like trash, even ppl talkin we din show respect. He punished our 协调员 very very badly that day with repeated process to show how strict they are when training our 协调员. Some cannot stand the situation and cried. For me, owh, its another set up, although we did badly, see what they can come up with to change the others. We were strictly scolded and being hold to stand still without a movement that day. They change to super fierce mode even I started to fear that time. But eventually everything calmed down, and we made our self promise to do better.Owh yeah, then comes the final day before movin out. My fren put his laptop bag to the boot of the car and park at carefour. 15 minutes later. Gone by the wind. Another laptop gone plus my other friends school bag full with clothes. It was really black these few days. The final day before goin in.14-10-09